DARTH MAULS AMAZING STORIES.

These are some of Darth Mauls amazing stories. Just email me at dmaul@planetaccess.com OR post it on my Message Board at the front page if you want to submit one. If the site is still alive and can be updated with a good story, Ill post it! Just fit my storyline so we will have an audience that will understand. So sit back, and enjoy!

DIRTY DANCING EPISODE IV

Darth Sidious was watching his Re-election. Palpatine 105,000. He just hoped that the commission of elections accepted his bribe and the cheat was done well. Or else, Chancellor Vamlorum will declare martial law and his representor Amidala will never care. Darth Sidious turned to Darth Maul, "I want to send you to dancing class, my apprentice!" Darth Maul jumped. "Dancing class?!!!!!!"
"Yes."
Darth Maul never liked hobbies of sissy twits especially being sent to a school that plays ugly music. "Master, the music sucks! The teacher is dumb and the fellow dancemates are so damn shallow-minded".
Darth Sidious tried to explain his reason. "It will give you more hate and disdain when you go to a school full of bastards, ugly music and lousy teachers! Use your hate against the Jedi so your mind will be trained."

***

The teacher was names Supra Able. A short, 23 year old dancer and was lecturing the cha-cha of "LIVIN LA VIDA WACO". Darth Maul safely hid his Light Saber at the holster of his belt. Then he found Obi Wan Kenobi dancing like a chicken. Since the bastard had amnesia, it was safe even if Darth Maul was tempted to kill the brat.
Then Obi Wan started dancing near Darth Maul trying to impress him with his lesbian skills "Make you take your clothes off and go dancing in the rain! Bullet to your brain! Upside inside, out. Livin La Vida Waco!"

Then the Supra bitch arrived and started lecturing Darth Maul with the lousy dance steps. Obi Wan and the others laughed at Darth Maul for getting lost in the steps.
Darth Maul punched Obi Wans face and the bastard started whining "Later you! Later you!" and Supra started telling him that "Oh no, Mr. Darth Maul. Fighting is NOT the answer! Forgiveness is the key to power!". Darth Maul cannot take this bitch. "Shut up and teach me how to dance !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Then the dancing group let Darth Maul and Kenobi rest. They were carrying baskets this time and dancing like turkeys. Darth Maul ordered 1 dozen pizzas for Obi Wan and Obi Wan was scolded for commiting one of the 7 capital sins without paying.
Then the groups dance tunred into "Babaya, Gogonut! Oh oh oh!" Darth Maul was scolded by the lesbian principal of the dancing academy and was given a C in Conduct. Little Snitch.

Meanwhile, Bruck was still on a life-support system and went back to Anakin on the Tatooine system to have 6 more CDs of Counter Stroke, Counter Paroke and Counter Espaa Rookie copied. The slave-mechanic boy knew this was illegal but the Jedi bastard was more powerful than him even if he is half-dead, half-droid, half-togorian. "Anakin, get fast. Ive gotta go to dancing school!" Anakin tried to warn him. "This is NOT easy! Just wait. Ill get done CD-writing it in a moment."
At least Bruck had a good taste for instrumental tunes. He was listening to "Summon the Heroes" by John Williams and Christina Aguilera is not too bad as a singer.
Anakin got the CD-writing done and gave it to the Togorian. He was handed 90 truguts. Not bad.
The Togorian got to the Coruscant dancing school and saw Kenobi resting after being scolded by Hans Moranis F.S.C.
Bruck saw Darth Maul and nodded at him. He wanted revenge. Now that Qui Gon Jinn was having a temporary Jedi-style head ache. But now it was time for dancing lessons. Now they were dancing "Going to Ibiza" by the Vengaboys. Chacha style. Bruck and Darth Maul joined the dancing and almost wanted to kill each other but didnt want any trouble. Then they started moving around in circles, Bruck kept looking at the Sith Lord who made him a droid. Bruck moved his hand forward like the power rangers- morphing time action and was tempted to knock Darth Maul. But the Sith Lord waved a hand and warded the dancing hitting motion when they continued. The threatening actions of the tough guy wannabe Togorian continued even if Tom Jones "Sex Bomb" started to play.

Then the teacher started to play "Lucky" by Britney Spears. Darth Maul cant dance like an idiot here. The dancers started moving their hips like chicks and Darth Maul shouted. "Enough of this!!!". Obi Wan Kenobis eyes became large and started with his "Oooooooooooooh Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh" expressions.

Darth Mauls ignited his Light Saber and wanted to have revenge with the whining dancers. He started with Bruck and fought him. Bruck ignited his sword. Finally, Darth Maul ignited another end of his Saber. The ugly dancers were cheered by Supra Able "Dont panic! Stay calm! Agents of ballet are always calm!". Supra tired to stop the Light Saber fighting and was thinking it was just a game. But Darth Maul intentionally slashed the un-wise, shallow minded, dumb teacher intentionally her head came off like that guy on Sleepy Hollow. Darth Maul instead of following the lousy ballet techniques turned gracefully and force throwed a chair and cut Brucks mechanical arm. But Brucks right hand with the Light Saber was still fighting. When Darth Maul parried a downstroke, he slipped back and cut Brucks head off. NOT even a life-support system can revive that Togorian now.

Obi Wan Kenobi was blocking the Sith Lords way. The clone only had 2 weeks of retraining. Darth Maul made slashing motions to Kenobi and his ballroom dancing clothes were ripped and burned and slashed.

***

When Darth Maul made it back to the Coruscant apartment. He made a report to Darth Sidious. "Good, Darth Maul. Now that you have messianic hate for and increased disdain. You will be ready to fight a Jedi Master!".

"Who is that Jedi?"

Darth Sidious shook his head "Ahh I dont know yet. Well see."

Darth Maul went to the gym and got ready for his duel with a Jedi Master. Whoever that Master is.

THE END.